Division 1: Saints produce a little slice of heaven

William Balme

@Balmey21

Football creates compelling parallels on a Sunday morning. For some, a morning listening to the ABC, picking weeds out of the garden as they whistle their club’s tune to themselves with broad smiles whilst for others, it is a grim bowl of soggy Weet Bix and uncomfortable realisations. For Yarra Valley and Old Geelong, these realisations came in the form of the two promoted young sides, St Mary’s Salesian and Kew respectively. Having witnessed Yarra Valley first hand in a practice match last month, I was gobsmacked that they were not only beaten by the young St Mary’s boys, but also slaughtered. Those Weet Bix might have been accompanied by a half-glazed stare into the abyss as they collectively pondered where on earth this Gary Purantatameri character came from.

The great Bruce Springsteen is fond of a mysterious figure named Mary, and it really comes as no surprise. It is a beautiful old name and the origins of it take us back to the birth of Christianity. Now, I’m not suggesting that Gary Purantatameri is a descendant of Jesus Christ, but his performance on Saturday has some of us wondering if he can turn water into wine, or in St Mary’s case, a promotion into a… well… another promotion. This is the sort of literary gold you are going to get if you continue reading this column; a reference to Bruce Springsteen transforming into an analysis on the curious similarity between a small forward and Jesus Christ. Enough jabbering on, there was so much quality football being played on the weekend in Division 1 that it will be a miracle if I can smoosh it all into this 900-word column

The Match of the Round lived up to its billing as NOBS/St Pats survived a ferocious late charge from Prahran Assumption and held on to win by 6 points. I think it is a safe assumption (pun unintended) to suggest that both these sides will figure heavily deep into spring. Both sides are hardworking, tough and strong and have quality players seeping through their systems. On three occasions NOBS/St Pats looked to increase their lead to unassailable 18 points in the final term but on three occasions Prahran crawled back, only to just fall short. Reigning Best and Fairest Winner Adam Oakley was outstanding for NOBSPC as returning forward Chris Ford’s four goals proved decisive. For Prahran, it was Gerard Hogarth who kicked 6 goals as 10 of their 11 goals came from two sources. The Round 1 fatigue is inevitable but after a marathon 35 minute final quarter, it is safe to say that both sides earned their post-match dimmies.

In Doncaster, it was a stunning sequence of events that led to a 93 point win for St Mary’s Salesian over Yarra Valley. 15 goals to 6 was the second half narrative with goal kickers coming from every postcode across Australia for the victors. It appears that the match winner was Gary Purantatmeri, the Northern Territory compatriot, who kicked 9 goals. However, he certainly was not alone. Louis Holmes, the handsome devil, kicked 5 and Ananth Pathirana was tough in the clinches. They certainly know how to play a small ground well, the Saints. For Yarra Valley they were simply outplayed but Mark Letson kicked 4 and looked handy.

Mitch Brown popped in for a run around for Old Mentonians on Saturday and helped his feeder team to an 8-point win over Bulleen Templestowe. Although Old Mentone led all day, they were put through their paces in the last quarter as the fast finishing Bullants pressed hard to attempt to snatch the points. For the victors, Wiltshire and Mills proved difficult to stop as Mitch Brown put the cherry on the cake. We’re talking the former Geelong Cat here, not the man who tragically did his knee last week. That would have been some comeback. For Bulleen, they were not without their own winners as Kristian Cherbakof played out of his skin, supported ably by David Dakin. Hold the phone? David Dakin? Or what about Dave Dobbyn? Dave Dobbyn, the writer of classic 80s hit Slice of Heaven fame? Yes! Is this potentially the week 2 reference to mediocre 80s bands from the Trans-Tasman? Maybe.

Kew and Old Geelong battled out an intriguing contest at the Bear Cave on Saturday in another surprising result. Whilst Kew was challenged throughout and almost looked like being run over in the third quarter, they had enough quality to stem the flow and take out the four points. It was Tim ‘Torch’ Orchard who led the charge for the victors, illustrating his vintage small man courage and super skills. Callum Wood and Rupert Kemp were both dangerous up forward and around the ground for the OGGS but it wasn’t enough to keep Andrew Brazzale out of the contest, booting 3 and pleasing his legions of fans.

Whitefriars went into this game confident they could run over the top of the big-bodied and more experienced Ormond side. Unfortunately they simply couldn’t match it with Ormond for 4 quarters, as Ormond came out 41 point victors. Ormond unveiled their prized recruit Mal Michael who supposedly went about his business in his typical no-nonsense way. After his debut on Truck Hunting, it’s no wonder that he’s being talked about so frequently around the grounds. However, Ormond is far more than a one-man army. Rob Chisholm and the Simon brothers gave Whitefriars’ monumental headaches despite Michael Nitas haul of 5 goals for the defeated Friar Boys.

Willie Bee’s Match of the Round

Yet again I am torn in two here but I’ll have to go with the new and the old down at Ferndale Park as St Mary’s take on NOBS/St Pats. This result will say a lot about how the competition is shaping up. St Mary’s win and the whole dynamic of the competition has shifted, NOBS win and they’re flag favourites.

St Mary’s in a boil over by 7 points.

Other games:

Old Geelong v Old Mentonians

Ormond v Yarra Valley

St Mary’s Salesian v NOBS/St Pats

Bulleen Templestowe v Whitefriars

Kew v Prahran Assumption