BIG V BOOTS RECORD SCORE AGAINST THE IRISH IN BREFFNI PARK BRUISER

The Big V turned on its finest performance of this Irish tour, pressuring and bullocking its way to a record score against the All-Ireland team. On a lush Breffni Park surface and under cloudy Friday flood-lit skies, the Ammos stunned the Emerald Islanders with a polished and passionate performance that yielded the highest-ever score by a VAFA team against a national outfit.
The Vics won the first contest of the night with a tap from Lachlan McQueen-Miscamble to Ross Young, who drove the visitors into attack for the first of many forays forward. Victorian hearts were aflutter when the loquacious live wire Brendan Goss got hands on the orb but joy turned to disbelief when the Wonthaggi Wizard was hung, drawn and quartered in the marking challenge and the Irish referee waved “play on.”
Slow starts have hitherto hampered this travelling band, but after a brilliant midfield pick –off by Young, Goss grabbed his second opportunity and got the visitors on the board, sending the pro-Vic crowd into raptures. The cheer squad had thereafter little to do before it ventured inside at half-time for a cup of tea to warm the vocal chords as well as the hands for the second half. 
At the same time, coaches Gleeson and Kanis heaped praise on their team for endeavour and perseverance. They were about to send them out for the second half when the Vics’ borrowed goalie, the All-Ireland #2 by name of Niall, closed the door and addressed his borrowed team. 
“We’ve been hearing all week about the Australian tackling. Boys, you’re showing these lads far too much respect. Hit them, take them down,” he implored. 
Such rhetoric was music to Victorian ears and they took to the pitch with renewed aggression. There seemed little regard for the half-time 65-4 deficit.
It was Brendan Goss who overed again just 2 minutes into the third stanza, and the energy level lifted again. The 28,000 (empty) seat stadium screamed loudest at the five minute mark, when ‘Billy Bob’ Thornton heaved a right-foot punt through the middle for the Vics’ third. 
This was the Billy Bob of the Angelina Jolie period, at his very best. Halfway through the term, Goss tried for a sneaky “under” but was foiled by the woodwork. Minutes later, he notched his third over, establishing a Fred Fanning-esque international record that may never be equalled. 
Dimitri “The Gladiator” Dimakopoulos, who again featured prominently,  kicked a behind to end the Vics’ biggest ever assault on Irish pride. Still, while the visitors had added 10 for the quarter, they now trailed 101-14.
Goss, with a long-range piledriver off the carpet that narrowly missed and the smooth Ben Smithwick opened the scoring in the last with behinds but then the #1 Irish goalie Paddy, who had been traded for their #2 at ¾ time, let in five meaningless unders. The final score was 132-16, but all who saw the game witnessed a great contest. The All-Ireland team was happy, even keen, to swap its national jumpers for the Big V post-game. 
Big Gus “Two All Beef on a Sesame Seed Bun ” Patti was awarded the Spirit of the Big V award for his fine work in the ruck and around the ground. Skipper Ross Young was again a standout in the middle of the park, but every man did his duty, lifting to the occasion and turning in best performances of the tour. 
Young was aided by sterling performances from Adam Bentick, Peter “Stormy” Summers, Bede Mahon, Jarrod Carlson and until injured, Marcus Allan.  Adam “Ace” Collett and Andrew “The Kid” Young worked tirelessly, while big fellas Ash “Odd” Close and Lachlan “Pappa Bear” McQueen-Miscamble all did some damage. Glenn Costas, Tommy “Rue” Paule, Adam “9 ½ “ Weekes and Bart Walsh all had their moments of inspiration and influence.
In its 88 year history, the Big V senior team has amassed many victories. This was a defeat, heavy indeed, but nonetheless an extremely honourable effort. It’s on to Donaghmore-Ashbourne for the finale. After this effort, there’s every chance the tour will end with a victory.
Scoring: Goss 3.1, Thornton 1.0, Smithwick 0.2, Dimakopoulos 0.1
Best: Young, Dimakopoulos, Patti, Weekes, Costas, Goss.