THE UNKNOWN UMPIRE

29 June
When I went down to the Ammos, they kitted me out with a whistle and a uniform. I thought that was pretty professional. Then they took my first three pay-cheques to cover it. Benny Goodman told me not to worry, that he wouldn’t be charging for the rule book, which apparently all umpires get in their third year. Seems like a good time now to wish Benny a big Happy Birthday!
To be fair, they are good looking uniforms though. And I’ll only have to umpire for another year to get my hands on a rule book. I’m sure no one would object to that.
Half way through 2011 it would be fair to say it has been the ‘Year of the Umpire’. It’s great to see how umpires usually only rate a mention in the media when they mess up, or cause any kind of controversy. The advantage rule has left many AFL spectators scratching their heads (or worse) and possibly cost Collingwood a win (although no human being would be too upset by this). Dangerous tackles have been, well… tackled. And the “hands in the back” rule has seen almost as many soft kicks paid as back when Matty Lloyd was in his hey-day. For the record, I’m glad that the VAFA hasn’t adopted this rule.
On a more serious note, the advantage rule is arguably the toughest to implement, and the fact that no two situations are ever the same means that, in my opinion, the rule will never be perfected. When free kicks are obvious to players, spectators and umpires alike, and the ball spills free, the advantage rule is perfect – it requires little thought and keeps the game moving.
In any kind of stoppage, or contest, free kicks aren’t always as obvious – except to the umpire who has obviously blown his whistle for a perfectly good reason! It’s harder to pay advantage in these situations, particularly as there are usually multiple players in the vicinity and the ball might happen to be in amongst all of them. A player might happen to stream free with the ball, not realising the decision went against his side. Or perhaps someone might grab the ball, ala Daniel Cross against St Kilda, take two steps and be mown down, before anyone realises what has happened.
If anything, particularly at AFL level, players have begun to continue playing after the whistle has been blown. The last thing a team can afford is to stop dead, and have someone swoop on a loose ball and sprint away.
The more players and umpires experience different scenarios relating to the advantage rule, the smoother it will run. While it’s now a player-driven rule, the umpire still has a part to play. Seems like a good time to say that umpires are as human as players, despite the science that proves otherwise…
10 May
For those who haven’t heard the great news, this weekend is Umpire Appreciation Round.
A wise umpire once told me that you start a game with 100 ‘points’ to your name, and if you’re lucky, you don’t lose them all before the game ends.
From the moment an umpire arrives at the ground, he or she is judged. Walking into the rooms to introduce yourself to the coaches and players is effectively a ‘moment of truth’ – the players size you up, and get a feel for what kind of umpire you might be, and what they might be able to get away with anything out on the ground.
Hopefully after leaving the rooms, you still have 100 points, because the tally reduces pretty quickly as one side always disagrees with each decision you make on the field.

I decided to take up umpiring when I read an article in my local paper about a shortage of umpires in my local league. So I sent off an email to them, but also to the VAFA, where I’d heard there was a tough stance on player behaviour and alcohol consumption. Two days later I received an email and a phone call from Brian Goodman (VAFA’s head of Umpire Operations), and from there I headed down to training. That’s how I became an umpire.
And for the record, I never heard back from the local league that was looking for umpires.
So my umpiring journey began, very slowly. I ran my first game as a boundary umpire. I hope I never have to do that again. Running up and down and not being involved in the game didn’t appeal to me at all, but by observing the field umpires, I thought I could have a decent crack at doing that. I ran as a field umpire the following week and have loved my non-cricketing Saturday afternoons every since.
I would like to think that I gradually became a better umpire, or at least better than I was as a player. I had the privilege of umpiring alongside experienced guys early on in my career, and I began to pick up the basics of umpiring. I stopped getting caught in play so often, I hardly pointed the wrong way when making decisions and I started to think like an umpire rather than a footballer.
It’s a different feeling walking on and off the field as an umpire, there’s a heightened responsibility, and a different need to adapt to conditions. Most importantly though, what I get from umpiring a game of footy is a sense of achievement, and more often than not, the feeling of a job well done!
Umpires should be constantly learning, improving their decision making and the way they manage a game. And I’ll be the first one to admit that as a player I always directed a few choice words at the men and women in white when a decision for some strange reason didn’t go my way.
If you’re interested in umpiring, come down and give it a go. You’ve got nothing to lose. It’s a great way to keep fit, make some mates and earn a little bit of pocket money… and it’s never too late to be a part of it!
Last but not least, as players, coaches and supporters, there’s probably times when you think that the umpires are out to get you. It’s probably true. Just kidding.
Good luck to everyone on the weekend!